FAQ
Q: What does FAQ stand for?
A: Frequently Asked Questions, dumbass.
Q: So does that mean people have actually asked you any of these questions, or are you just really desperate for something to add to the site?
A: Shut it, but if people actually did read the site they might have questions such as these.
Q: Who are you?
A: There's three of us. The one who's not funny (Jonny), the cool one (Me - Pat), and the sexy figurehead (Chris).
Q: So there's three of you and this shit is still the best you could come up with?
A: No, we had an idea for a really good website once, but a magical leprechaun stole it from us and what ensued was an adventure that none of us will soon forget. Our courage, will, and most of all our friendship was put to the test as we overcame mighty obstacles while tracking the fiend through the dangerous land of France. In the end we learned that we didn't need the plan that the leprechaun had stolen, that it was inside us all along, but then we got drunk and made this website instead.
Q: Why don't you update more often?
A: I'd like to say it's because I have a real life or something. But that would be a dirty lie, and you can't lie on the internet. The real reason is that I'm a lazy P.O.S who spends all his free time rocking out and pretending to be a pirate. And the other two just suck.
Q: Why aren't you funny?
A: Screw off, pinko.
Q: Are there any pictures of you?
A: I don't know why you'd want to see them. Like all webmasters we're as ugly on the outside as we are on the inside. Though you can see Chris, here.
Q: What kind of things do you like to do in your free time?
A: We enjoy getting drunk and picking fights with people weaker than us.
Q: What's the deal with Shawn?
A: The existence of Shawn is proof that we don't care whether the site funny or not. It's also safe to assume that he's blackmailing every one of us.
Q: What's the deal with MoonRaven?
A: MoonRaven is sad because her parents and teachers don't understand her. Also she's pretty fat.
Q: What's the deal with Jeffrey Davis?
A: For this I decided to let Jeffrey Davis speak for himself:
Jeffrey Davis is a veryy famuos man and he is teh best partt of Sir Chris's websiety. if it were not for him tehn no Spainards would come to the websiet at al. Q: Why is your site design so crappy?
A: None of us are the least bit knowledgable about what the hell actually goes into "making a webpage." We do not know HTML, C++, BASIC, Elvish, or any other nerdy language spoken by Linux users. The main appeal of the site is intended to be its content, not our rad to the max programming skills.
Q: Why don't you have any links?
A: Here at Cap'n Chris, we do not believe in linking to other websites, that's like drinking a can of coke with a bottle cap saying "Next time why not enjoy a nice refreshing Pepsi!" SInce every time the hit counter goes up it's like getting a tiny little hug, I want to keep people here for as long as possible.
Q: Some of the pictures on your site don't work.
A: Hey, you're right, they don't.
