ShootTheHippies: Hey there
xrottenstrawberi: hii
ShootTheHippies: So what's happening?
xrottenstrawberi: nothing
xrottenstrawberi: you
ShootTheHippies: Oh, the usual.
ShootTheHippies: Just drowning my sorrows in this fine scotch.
xrottenstrawberi: sounds nice
ShootTheHippies: Don't you tell me how to feel!
ShootTheHippies: Unless, you know, you've got some good suggestions.
xrottenstrawberi: i don't mean to sound like an asshole
xrottenstrawberi: but i didn't catch your name
ShootTheHippies: Well, I kind of do mean to sound like a total jerk,
ShootTheHippies: And no you didn;'t.
xrottenstrawberi: so are you going to tell me, then?
ShootTheHippies: I don't know... should I?
ShootTheHippies: You could be French.
xrottenstrawberi: last time i checked i wasn't
ShootTheHippies: Promise?
xrottenstrawberi: yessir
xrottenstrawberi: or ma'am
ShootTheHippies: I can be either.
ShootTheHippies: ;-)
xrottenstrawberi: could be
ShootTheHippies: It depends how sexy your font is.
ShootTheHippies: I will change my font accordingly.
xrottenstrawberi: hmm now it's just too complicated.
ShootTheHippies: To correlate with the appropriate level of sexiness.
ShootTheHippies: I am like HBO.
ShootTheHippies: Right now, your font doesn't turn me on.
xrottenstrawberi: sorry
ShootTheHippies: It's okay.
ShootTheHippies: Most people's fonts don't.
ShootTheHippies: Which makes it really hard to start my internet sub-culture/fetish.
xrottenstrawberi: i see
ShootTheHippies: We call ourselves "Fonties" and we get turned on by different fonts.
xrottenstrawberi: usually is
ShootTheHippies: We also write erotic stories involving fonts and font related things.
ShootTheHippies: We usually say stuff like "Hey, did you check out the Comic Sans MS in that last guy's post?"
xrottenstrawberi: sounds quite interesting
ShootTheHippies: We also have things set up so us "Fonties" can meet each other and talk about all the dirty things we would like to do with our favorite font.
xrottenstrawberi: wow
ShootTheHippies: Personally, I'm an Impact man myself.
xrottenstrawberi: i'm just so intrigued
ShootTheHippies: I can't type in it too much though... or else I'd get too aroused.
ShootTheHippies: But yeah, Impact is a really manly font that is always sure to make its presence known.
xrottenstrawberi: we don't want that to happen
ShootTheHippies: You can feel safe with Impact.
ShootTheHippies: Sometimes Impact can be a little jealous or overbearing, but you know it's only because of how much Impact cares for you and wants to protect you.
ShootTheHippies: Even when Impact hits you, you know it's just because of all the love.
xrottenstrawberi: yes yes
ShootTheHippies: So, tell me a little something about your font.
xrottenstrawberi: periwinkle
xrottenstrawberi: you're the expert. how about you tell me
ShootTheHippies: Yeah, I mean, periwinkle is all right, I definitely wouldn't kick it out of my Word document, but it just doesn't do it for me like Impact does.
xrottenstrawberi: yeah
ShootTheHippies: Periwinkle is kind of shy, not nearly as aggressive and outgoing as Impact.
xrottenstrawberi: i suppose
ShootTheHippies: But still alot better than that whore Arial.
xrottenstrawberi: yep
ShootTheHippies: Arial has a pretty big following among us Fonties, but I just can't stand them.
ShootTheHippies: Ugh, the Airies just disgust me.
xrottenstrawberi: good to know!
ShootTheHippies: They're a bunch of self-important bastards who just like Arial because it's so small and dainty.
xrottenstrawberi: nothing wrong with small and dainty
ShootTheHippies: You won't say that after you've heard an Airie go on about it in "Fontie Chat" for thirty minutes.
ShootTheHippies: God, you'd think it was the next Times New Roman!
xrottenstrawberi: yeah yo
ShootTheHippies: Sorry to go off like that, so what are you up to?
xrottenstrawberi: watching movies.
xrottenstrawberi: how about yourself?
ShootTheHippies: Watching you watch movies.
ShootTheHippies: What movie(s)?
xrottenstrawberi: goodfellas, and i'm watching a new hope next.
ShootTheHippies: Let me save you some trouble, Yoda dies.
ShootTheHippies: I think.
xrottenstrawberi: no
ShootTheHippies: Yeah, you're right, it's Spock.
xrottenstrawberi: that's return of the jedi
xrottenstrawberi: when yoda dies
ShootTheHippies: Yoda dies?!?!
ShootTheHippies: Nooooooooo!
xrottenstrawberi: oh come on
ShootTheHippies: I was just joking!
xrottenstrawberi: you'd better be
ShootTheHippies: I mean about him dying!
xrottenstrawberi: i'd have to cyber smack you
ShootTheHippies: You just killed a part of me.
xrottenstrawberi: oh ok
xrottenstrawberi: i'm sorry
ShootTheHippies: The really ugly part with bad grammar.
ShootTheHippies: That gave everyone hope.
xrottenstrawberi: yes well
ShootTheHippies: A New Hope.
ShootTheHippies: Typing in italics makes whatever I say seem alot more urgent.
xrottenstrawberi: and fancy
ShootTheHippies: As if it were said by an Italian.
xrottenstrawberi: i don't know about all that
ShootTheHippies: Hey, when Italians talk, people listen.
xrottenstrawberi: hah
xrottenstrawberi: maybe you do
xrottenstrawberi: sike jk
ShootTheHippies: Or they try to listen, but can't understand because all they say is "Mama Mia! I'm an Italian! Pizza!"
xrottenstrawberi: hah
xrottenstrawberi: or pinch your cheeks
ShootTheHippies: And occassionally "Calzone!"
xrottenstrawberi: until they squeeze off
ShootTheHippies: And then put your severed cheeks in the bed next to you.
xrottenstrawberi: possibly, maybe in my retainer case
ShootTheHippies: I keep condoms in my retainer case.
xrottenstrawberi: hmm
ShootTheHippies: No wait, I don't.
ShootTheHippies: Sorry, my mistake.
xrottenstrawberi: sure thing.
ShootTheHippies: I just remembered that I don't have a retainer case because I'm not 11.
xrottenstrawberi: there's nothing wrong with keeping your teeth straight while you sleep
ShootTheHippies: Or am I???
ShootTheHippies: Italics also add an air of mystery to whatever is said.
xrottenstrawberi: do you even know who i am?
xrottenstrawberi: didn't think so!
ShootTheHippies: Ouch.
ShootTheHippies: Well... I thought I knew you!
ShootTheHippies: Guess I was wrong.
xrottenstrawberi: who did you think?
ShootTheHippies: I don't know!
ShootTheHippies: I don't know who you even are anymore!
xrottenstrawberi: hah alright!
xrottenstrawberi: well that's comforting.
ShootTheHippies: You're like some stranger I just met on the internet!
xrottenstrawberi: interesting. i don't remember having any search info.
xrottenstrawberi: or even being on an internet!
ShootTheHippies: And I didn't remember killing that hooker.
ShootTheHippies: But there she was in my trunk.
xrottenstrawberi: who knows how she got there..
ShootTheHippies: It's one of the great mysteries of our time.
xrottenstrawberi: or just yours
ShootTheHippies: But I did the honorable thing, I threw her out of my sunroof while driving down the freeway.
xrottenstrawberi: don't break your arm trying to pat yourself on the back
ShootTheHippies: That hurts, I lost my arm in Nam.
ShootTheHippies: Defending your freedom!
xrottenstrawberi: that's a shame.
xrottenstrawberi: sounds like a personal problem to me!
ShootTheHippies: It is, a terrible personal problem!
ShootTheHippies: What other kind of problem is there?
xrottenstrawberi: look it up, im really not sure
ShootTheHippies: "This is an impersonal problem!"
ShootTheHippies: "It only affects robots!
xrottenstrawberi: cool
ShootTheHippies: Is that the kind of problem you want?
ShootTheHippies: Robot Syphilis?
xrottenstrawberi: naw im straight
xrottenstrawberi: thanks!
ShootTheHippies: So is the robot!
xrottenstrawberi: wonderful
ShootTheHippies: As a minority, if you don't have sex with me, I'm allowed to try it as a hate crime.
ShootTheHippies: Just to warn you.
xrottenstrawberi: hah
xrottenstrawberi: dreammmm on
ShootTheHippies: I assure you, I already am!
xrottenstrawberi: pfft
xrottenstrawberi: seriously, who is this
ShootTheHippies: You look like Keanu Reeves, right?
xrottenstrawberi: completely
ShootTheHippies: Perfect.
xrottenstrawberi: we share the same dna
ShootTheHippies: Me too, at least, I've got a vial of his blood that I bought off E-bay.
xrottenstrawberi: practically clones
xrottenstrawberi: i don't need ebay. just a mere papercut
ShootTheHippies: Sweet.
xrottenstrawberi: very
xrottenstrawberi: you never answered my question
xrottenstrawberi: i answered yours
ShootTheHippies: You're right, I'm very good at not answering questions.
xrottenstrawberi: HAHAHAHA OMFG I KNOW WHO THIS IS.
ShootTheHippies: That's what they all say.
xrottenstrawberi: what a riot. i never would have guesssed.
ShootTheHippies: Then I guess you did...
ShootTheHippies: So, you can't really say you never would have guessed.
xrottenstrawberi: i didn't guess
xrottenstrawberi: i've been told
ShootTheHippies: Did the Feds tip you off?
xrottenstrawberi: naw
ShootTheHippies: The Reds?
xrottenstrawberi: naw
ShootTheHippies: Haley Joel Osmond?
ShootTheHippies: Because that's my whole Enemies List so if it's not one of them I have no idea who could have blown my awesome cover.
xrottenstrawberi: hah
ShootTheHippies: I really want you to tell me who you think I am so I can tell you you're wrong.
ShootTheHippies: That's the best part.
ShootTheHippies: Always.
xrottenstrawberi: aw well that's a shame
ShootTheHippies: Because they're always like "No, you must be you!"
ShootTheHippies: And I'm like "No, I'm totally not!"
ShootTheHippies: And they're like "Prove it!"
ShootTheHippies: And I'm like "You prove it first!"
ShootTheHippies: Then that continues for 20 minutes.
xrottenstrawberi: that's special ;D
ShootTheHippies: So who am I?
xrottenstrawberi: you know who you are
ShootTheHippies: Yeah, but I don't know who you think I am.
xrottenstrawberi: i don't need to tellyou
xrottenstrawberi: sounds personal :-\
ShootTheHippies: Yeah, but you see, there's no way for you to know who I am.
xrottenstrawberi: if you say so
ShootTheHippies: So you probably think I'm someone like "Jimmy"
ShootTheHippies: And you'll say "You're Jimmy!"
xrottenstrawberi: nope.
ShootTheHippies: And I'll have to tell you that I'm not Jimmy.
ShootTheHippies: See, I don't even know how you are.
ShootTheHippies: Or who you are.
ShootTheHippies: So if you know who I am, that means you have the upper hand!
xrottenstrawberi: then why are you talking to me?
ShootTheHippies: And that you're some kind of witch.
xrottenstrawberi: if you say sp
xrottenstrawberi: *so
ShootTheHippies: Hey, quiet, Witch.
xrottenstrawberi: uh huh
ShootTheHippies: I've had enough of your divinations!
xrottenstrawberi: sorry
ShootTheHippies: Hm, I tell you what.
ShootTheHippies: You tell me who you think I am.
ShootTheHippies: And I will honestly tell you if you are wrong or right.
xrottenstrawberi: i love to see you grovel
ShootTheHippies: (probably wrong I can guarantee)
ShootTheHippies: I'm only used to doing it for sex!
xrottenstrawberi: otay perve